Sometimes it’s like walking on a two-edge sword. You are never appreciated for the good work, but your mistakes are always pointed out and reminded about it again and again.
When it comes to parenting of a child with special needs, the responsibilities gets doubled or say it gets increased many fold. These children are low on immunity, unable to do their simple daily chores independently, have weak muscles and have various health conditions. Each day is a challenge and even a small task is a Herculean task.
1st and foremost thing is “Acceptance”. YES. Accepting that our child is different; is a huge task. Accepting that our parenting duties will never end, accepting our parenting duties are different and difficult from what we have seen and experienced is a bitter truth.
Because if we don’t accept it, then it’s difficult for everyone else to accept the truth. Frustration, depression & anger sets in and we vent all those feelings 1st on the child & then on our family members. Family may or may not understand; but that child is unable to understand “why is my mom/dad treating me like this?” Result, the child shows behavioral issues, throws tantrums, falls sick often, seeks attention, etc.
In the past 11 years, I have come across many kinds of parents; parents who care for their child more than anything else, parents who are least bothered about their kids, parents who blame their kids for their misery and make their life hell.
But I would like to ask such parents 1 question; is it the child’s fault that he/she is born different?
Recently I observed parents literally dumping their kids at their schools/centers and running away. The kids were not wearing clean clothes; previous day’s soiled clothes are not changed, they are wearing stinking clothes, their personal hygiene is not taken care of… Even if the kids are sick, parents just drop them off and leave. Nor the centre or their caretaker is informed about their sickness or the medications which have to be administered.
Some parents are so busy that they don’t even have time to provide home cooked food for their child. Their tiffin boxes consist of outside or package eatables which are either unhygienic or loaded with preservatives. Result: falling sick often, stomach infection, diarrhea, etc. Imagine, these children who are anyways low on immunity, feeding on these junk food, daily, 3-4 times a day…
I have read about old parents becoming burden on their grownup children, but children becoming a burden for their parents just because they are differently abled; they are not independent. And these parents are not of lower income group but from middle class family, always dressed impeccably.
Imagine if something happens to you and you get bedridden and your parents treat you in such manner; how would you feel? How would you react?
Parenting is a huge responsibility. Kids imitate us, learn from us. Children, who are differently abled feel more helpless than we feel, are more frustrated than we are. We need to train them, nurture them with love and care. It doesn’t mean we must pamper them. Be strict when required but don’t ignore them.
Many will say after reading this, it's easy to say; only the person who is experiencing it knows what all we have to go through…
I have been through this stage. I know how it feels to be trapped, feel frustrated. But once I understood, things became little easy for me to handle.
“Life is a Struggle, Accept it. Face it with a Smile”